Tag Archives: racism

On Meeting Yet Another Fan

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Airscape

Michigan countryside

This past weekend I headed out of town to visit one of my buddies, Elsa (she of the Trina, Elsa, and me trio of 15 years and counting.  She’s also Patty’s godmother.)  Elsa snagged a day off and I seized the opportunity to head to the suburbs for some autumn fun. City girl that I am,  I’ve never done any of the fall activities like picking apples in orchards, going on hay rides, carving pumpkins or seeing a cider mill.  Elsa offered to take me to Blake’s Farm and Yates Cider Mill.   It just so happened that Dhana (she of ArmitageWorld) also lives in the same area.  We arranged to meet for Sunday dinner, then sight see at Yates.

As luck would have it, my travel mojo was *still* broken.  Everything that could happen did: I forgot my phone and had to retrieve it; the train was late then sat on the tracks; TSA decided to hold up the security line, etc.  I missed my plane.  But I got a ticket for the next one.  However the delay made it too late to visit the orchard. So Elsa and I met with her brother and his SO at Famous Dave’s.  I have no clue if this franchise is in Chicago, but it’s a great place for BBQ done the right way, slow cooked with smokey flavor.  The desserts were heavenly (Be sure and try the bread pudding or Kahlua chocolate brownie.  Mmm.)

Beef stew

Carbonado en Zapalla

Dhana’s travel mojo worked just fine.  She bravely drove to Elsa’s house, risking the possibilities we were either ax murderers or would have made her watch the entire tenure of David Tennant in Doctor Who.  (Well, I might have done the latter but we didn’t have enough time.)  She told me she wasn’t troubled due to experience in meeting members of her quilting group.  Dhana sews gorgeous quilts by the way.  Dhana is a lovely woman; she is soft-spoken but friendly.  She’s also not as quiet as she thinks she is. (I’m looking at you, Dhana.). She showed more of her arts and crafts talents: little converted figurines.  She’s transforming RA action figures into other characters and doing quite an amazing job.

I admit to not being concerned as well.  Like her, I’m also an old hand at meeting strangers from fandoms and most of them have been good experiences.  Meeting Servetus was more daunting because I had to travel alone to a strange city and it would just be her and me.  Here, I was on familiar turf with friends.  Dhana definitely had the riskier task. Also, since I earlier had gotten the issue of race out of the way by discussing it on my blog, I didn’t have to worry about it anymore.

Apple tart

Apple Tart

Sunday dinner was amazing.  Elsa loves to cook (she gets upset if she doesn’t get to cook when she visits) and she opted to cook Carbonado en Zapallo , beef stew in a pumpkin.  It’s a South American dish that is both slightly sweet and spicy.  The ending flourish is cooking the stew the last hour inside a pumpkin and serving it that way.  It was a great presentation and an excellent stew.  It was so good that I want to make it myself which will be a minor miracle.  Dessert was a scrumptious homemade apple custard torte.  Every bit of it was gone by the time I left for home.

Conversation was an interesting experience:  Elsa was from Doctor Who fandom, Dhana, from AW, and Tom and Ardath from none.  I was the only one who linked all of them.  What do you talk about when one doesn’t know anything much (or at all) about the other?  I felt like Oprah.  Happily all the guests didn’t have much trouble finding common ground and the chat went smoothly.

Yates Cider Mill

Yates Cider Mill

After dinner, we waddled to our cars to drove to Yates Cider Mill.  Elsa and Dhana tell me it used to be in the country but urban sprawl has caught up to it.  However it’s located next to a city park that looks like a forest preserve so the area was still woodsy.  The mill is what I had expected: a large barn straddling a stream with a giant wheel.  The wheel has been turning every season since 1863.  The building itself is smaller than expected.  It’s still a working mill; workers moved the huge press which churned out pure unpasteurized apple juice.  The building also contained a store where you can purchase anything made from apples: cider, donuts, turnovers, pies, and caramel apples.  The mill’s grounds  were quite crowded with both people and their four legged friends.  I’ve never seen so many dogs in one place.  So, I was happy camper, sipping cider, eating donuts and chatting with Elsa and Dhana.  (Winston was back at the house, being cowered by Ollie and Floyd, Elsa’s Jack Russel terrier and black Labrador.)  Finally we bid Dhana adieu and later went to see The Debt with Dame Helen Mirren.

Overall, it was a lovely weekend. My Master Plan proceeds apace.  Oh, you don’t know about my Master Plan?  Alright, I suppose I’ll have to tell – in another blog post.

Judi and Dhana

The unveiling: me (l) and Dhana (r)

 

 

On Meeting A Fellow Fan: the Other Fan

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Yesterday Servetus posted about meeting a fellow fan on Saturday but mentioned no name.

I’m the mystery fellow fan.

She wrote in a circumspect manner so that I could decide whether to blog or not.  My hesitation wasn’t due to Servetus, she’s exactly the way she seemed otherwise:  intelligent, accomplished, perceptive, funny, empathetic, engaging and approachable. Part of my reluctance was because I felt unable to legitimately talk about our meeting without talking about past experiences. I stated in an earlier post that fandom was one of this blog’s topics.  It’s turned out to be a tricky and touchy subject to discuss and it’s hard to decide where to begin. This is as good a point as any.

When Servetus first suggested meeting, I was surprised but enthusiastic. I’ve met many people, over the years in Star Trek and then most significantly, Doctor Who fandom, both collectively at conventions and separately.  Generally it’s been a positive experience.  Two people I met through DW are still my best friends 15 later.  Many from DW fandom follow each other on Facebook.  I met up with friends in London last month with whom I have kept in touch with on Twitter and it was if I’d just seen them last year. Passion for the show has waxed and waned but people still remain friends.  I’m connected to a nice circle of people for such disparate backgrounds and countries.  We are diverse but like-minded in valuing respect, equality, common decency, debate and civility. When the chips are done, we have supported and defended each other against those who violate those values.  Everybody can vouch for each other (or find somebody who can); it’s a safe circle. And it all started on the internet, with nobody knowing each other in real life.  I particularly appreciate this safety because it’s kept me insulated from certain unpleasantness.

After Servetus and I agreed to meet, I was excited that we were part of the first group in ArmitageWorld to cross the boundary from virtual to real life.  We were ArmitageWorld pioneers who would meet each other then two more and they would meet two more and so on and so on, just like that old shampoo commercial.  Then I remembered nobody had ever seen me in this fandom and an ugly old potential problem reared it’s head: racism.  I’m African-American.  In an ideal world that shouldn’t matter but on two occasions it shockingly mattered, once before they ever met me, the other long after.  To say I was stunned is an understatement and since then I’ve been acutely conscious that internet anonymity is a double edged sword.  It can afford the freedom to explore oneself but it can also conceal.  My circle rallied to me and gave those two hell but still I was hurt.

So I addressed the issue directly with Servetus.  She was at first flippant (hope you don’t mind I’m white!), reassuring, then concerned which turned to dismay and sadness when I explained I didn’t suspect her of bigotry; I simply needed to clear the air to avoid any ugly surprises.  This is the world in which I live, the mythical post-racial America. It’s a problem not likely to go away in my lifetime.

stock vector peopleAs I said earlier, my fandom experiences have been mostly positive.  I enjoy virtual friendships and getting to know people online.  However as Servetus blogged about identity, I can only see the face a person presents to the world, the public persona.  I can gauge and assess what a person’s true persona might be to a degree, if they are not hiding behind a mask, but it’s not until I cross the boundary from virtual to reality and actually  interact with and observe that person’s expressions, gestures, demeanor, personality, and attitude that I can lay a foundation for a meaningful lasting friendship.  I noticed on Servetus’s blog that other fans are suggesting doing the same.  I heartily encourage this.  The virtual world and the internet have its uses, but crossing into real life is priceless.