We’re now ramping up production on Phantom of the Opera. Fifty-two talents each with four costume changes. The sets need erecting. Mary Ellen and Ellen are stressed to the max, the seamstress hasn’t arrived, and I’m flailing around taking notes and plugging up holes popping up left and right. And it isn’t even rehearsal week yet. Good grief.
It’s so crazy a gal could use some objectifying, so why not my favorite go-to – Guy of Gisborne. Hey, had it not been for this bad load of pretty, I wouldn’t have discovered Richard Armitage.
Enjoy.
Guy demonstrates to Marian how semi-nudity is integral to the story, Courtesy of richardarmitagenet.com
We’ve almost finished building the scenery for The Snow Queen production this weekend. More work tomorrow. Sleep seems like a good idea.
Apropos of nothing, I was searching for one of my favorite pics of Guy tied up (how many times does that happen anyway) and came across this one. Kind of looks like a scene from Season 4 – The Sir Guy of Gisborne Show. Televised after the family hour time slot, naturally. Really late. Really really late.
Guy is either having a bad nightmare or a lovely time. Courtesy richardarmitagenet.com
Just a quickie post. Have started the volunteer work for my friend and hours are very early and very late. Still searching for an opportune time to write. In the meantime, I know what you come here for.
Richard Armitage being the best Guy he knows how. Courtesy richardarmitagenet.com
I’m baaaack. There’s real life news to report but I’ll talk about me next week. Today is Guy Day.
Every time I think that my Richard Armitage crush as moved away from 00glingblatant objectification visual admiration, Guy Day Friday rolls around and I find myself pawing through my stash. Then Guy jump starts the admiration all over again. Take a look at some of these lovely lovely pictures:
Guy, in 1939 MGM technicolor
Guy’s ready for his close up
Guy and eyebrow acting
Guy and “soulful” acting
More manly eyebrow acting
Guy models Medieval Maybelline
Getting his “henchman” on
Getting his “hot henchman” on
My weave never looked this good
He’s on a horse
Psyching up for wedding night
Prettiest guy in the forest
Flashing the profile
Guy taking charge
Happiest marriage proposer
Oh Guy, you’re so fine
What’s a fan gurl to do? I suspect the visual images of Guy fascinate me because of the amazing masculine and feminine mix in Richard Armitage’s features during his mid- thirties at height of his looks, IMHO. Just a change in lighting or angle of the head accentuated one over the other. But that’s a whole ‘nother post. Let’s just admire for now.
In case anybody was wondering “whither Judiang,” I’ve journeyed to the wilds of Ohio for an annual get-together with friends at a cabin in the woods by a lake. My friend has just finished showing me around the new school where she teaches. It’s a very lovely 21st century school with all the bells and whistles but in a location so rural there’s no phone reception. This causes a cognitive dissonance in my citified, always connected mind. But it gets better: the cabin has dicey phone reception and no wi-fi. I will spend a week not cruising the internet, not playing Borderlands 2, not obsessively viewing strange crap on YouTube, not tweeting at 2AM instead of sleeping, not NOT. Instead I will engage in unfamiliar activities like talking with live people in the same room, walking about, pointing at unusual animals (read: horsies and piggies), eating nutritious food, and letting the sun touch me. My iPad has a tethered keyboard, so I could like – write – with no internet distractions. My friend thinks I can do this for a week. Uh huh. She also promises that she’ll take me to an internet cafe if I start seem unhinged.
I wonder how she’ll be able to tell.
Uh oh, she’s finished closing her classroom for the school year. Wish me luck. I’ll post when I can.
Oh, and Happy Guy Day.
Richard Armitage as Guy of Gisborne, realizing he has no competition in the series.
Hey, how about those fabulous posts this week? They would have been incredibly awesome had I been able to get them…out of…my head. Hmm. Okay, problems with concentration, persistence and pace have interfered with flow. But, when the moment seizes me, I seize the opportunity to get the thoughts out.
This brings me to the subject of chest hair. (The segue is perfectly logical; just work with me). Some tweeters and commentators have asked how I feel on the issue; they know I’m not a fan of Richard Armitage’s beardy look, but what about his chest? Well, since it’s Guy Day Friday, let’s look at this picture:
Marian interrupts Guy as he fits his armor. (And we know all knights fit their armor while naked, right? So why the trousers?)
Here is RA as Guy of Gisborne. His chest is smooth. This deserves a closer look.
In a scene totally integral to the story, Guy turns his smoothness to Marian.
Yup, he’s totally smooth. If you were to imagine placing your hand on his chest (tough I know, but you can do it), it would glide smoothly, as you felt one defined muscle flow (see there?) into the next without any other sensation, like – hair. Wouldn’t that feel nice? Hmm? So ideally, I tend to prefer smooth chests for the same reasons I like smooth faces. I want to feelsee appreciate what’s underneath without peering through a forest of fur.
Richard Armitage: Unwaxed in photo by Robert Ashcroft.
However, RA apparently waxes his chest for these scenes. From what we can glean from recent photos, the hair is light and sparse, so much so that it makes more sense aesthetically to wax his chest for nude scenes than go au naturel. It’s a wise choice which I totally endorse. Hairy men just don’t float my boat. It’s a personal preference and probably a cultural thing. But happily, RA isn’t too hairy. If he were to decide to appear in the future unwaxed, I wouldn’t look away.
In my approaching decrepitude, I’ve given up on the whole make-up thing. Nobody has turned to stone in my presence, so things aren’t too bad yet. On the other hand, our Sir Guy never left Locksley Manor without the whole deal (except for a bit during S3 when he went goth). Great foundation, darkened brushed brows, guyliner, a touch of mascara and eye shadow, usually in a dark smokey olive. Finish with a smooch of clear lip gloss and he was set for the day.
This picture shows off his deft hand to full advantage. Back to my other projects.
Guy, played by Richard Armitage, goes over his new contract with Maybelline Cosmetics.
Since this is Guy Day, I’ve been searching for the right Guy pic but there are so many lovely ones. How is a woman to choose? Then I thought of RA’s “I’m not a movie star,” comment (that’s okay, sweetie) and this pic drew my attention:
Richard Armitage as Sir Guy of Gisborne hears the approaching rumble of fangirls. You’re a movie star, babe. Courtesy of mabelalexa.tumblr.com
There’s something about the lighting here. The almost sepia tone reminds me of the Technicolor movies of old featuring movie stars such as Errol Flynn. You can imagine how RA would have looked back in the day. Personally, stars then tended to have more unique, striking features than today’s cookie cutter variety. The face, followed by the voice naturally, was everything.
Here is the black and white version:
Guy, finding himself in an Errol Flynn swashbuckler, realizes he can go native. Sorry Marian.
See any difference? Oh dear, not a bit of snark can I squeeze out while gazing at Richard Armitage (and Sir Guy), on the brink of his own movie stardom. I feel womanly vapors coming on and must have a lie down. No, seriously. The fumes muck up my sinuses something fierce.
We were so busy partying in chat (what, you missed it?) that I forgot to write a post. SO, to the bag of goodies I go. Ah, here is one of my favorite screen caps from Robin Hood. Can you guess why?
Richard Armitage as Sir Guy of Gisborne, suddenly realizes he’s wearing more make-up than Lucy Griffiths. Courtesy of RichardArmitageNet.com
Today, while looking at the screen cap below for medicinal purposes, I started musing about Marian and trying to understand the story line through her point of view. To my surprise, it wasn’t that hard to do.
Here Marian bravely sallies forth to discuss a detente with the ex-fiance/evil henchman, only to find him trying on armor and half naked by firelight. It’s bad enough that a maiden must swallow her pride and venture out alone clandestinely to a single man’s house at night, but to be faced with this too? Has he no SHAME?
Here the black-hearted villain is hardly the chivalrous knight, nevermind that he was punched and literally left lying at the altar with a scar on his face to remind him for the rest of his life. Principle is principle and chivalry is chivalry!
Here the rotten blackguard stands imperiously, muscles rippling, nipples perking, lips slightly pouting, clearly the image of brute force and intimidation. No wonder poor Marian stammers. With somebody like this standing over me, my mouth would go dry too.
Here Marian courageously presents the Fingers of Friendship, made even more sincere by being especially reachy.
Here the dirty rascal grasps Marian’s Fingers of Friendship a little too long, riveting Marian to the spot, and thereby constituting false imprisonment. She’s forced against her will to inhale the aroma of leather, horse and 100% man. Will this devil stop at nothing?
Luckily for our intrepid heroine, the proximity of Robin Hood’s goodness breaks the bond, thus releasing her from her unwitting entrapment. The dirty, rotten scoundrel is foiled again, and lives to scheme another day. (No, there is no screen cap of Robin Hood because HaHAHAHAhaha this isn’t about him.)
So, you’re right Fitzg, I really get a better feel for Marian now. I ought to rewatch the series; clearly I’ve completely misjudged her.
All screen caps courtesy of RichardArmitageNet.com
It’s almost over, oh noes! In fandom, Phylly3 celebrates her second blogiversary! • In the Hobbit chain, Antonia Romera compares trailers for An Unexpected Journey in three languages • CDoart‘s the King Richard Armitage blogger, writing on the relevance of the character in times of questionable justice • In fanfic, Jo Ann finishes her story • fedoralady traces the evolution of her “sloth fic” series • In freeform, Gratiana Lovelace rescreens her Armitage birthday vid • Fabo casts Armitage in Hollywood musical remakes • C.S. Winchester takes on Armitage in period costumes from N&S and Miss Marie Lloyd • Links to all FanstRA 3 posts appear here at the end of each day.
We last left off here and here with our intrepid heroine not getting her money’s worth in therapy. But her fantasy figure certainly is.
A Big City
7:45PM
I gaze at my watch again. Has it only been 45 minutes? Have we slipped into a crack in the space/time continuum? Surely it must be next week. On the upside, Guy has covered a lot of ground but the session ends in five minutes. What could possibly go wrong?
Guy sits slumped in his chair, his fingers still caught in his long hair – correction, much longer hair. It falls in waves to his shoulders, obscuring his perfect profile. His black leather has changed for the designer Italianate variety. He’s ready for the cover of Medieval GQ. Oh dear. I have a bad feeling about this.
Jada makes an observation. “Dr. G. seems to be putting him through changes.”
Jodi licks her lips. “I’ve always liked this version best.”
Quiet One … is quiet.
Winston and Patty paw through my copy of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, (Fourth Edition), chuffing and apparently arguing with each other. Clever pooches.
I glance curiously at Dr. G. as she scribbles notes in earnest. She has pulled books off the shelf behind her, including her own DSM manual. Her eyes have a strange light, the kind I get when I think about “peaches.”
Jada eyes the manual. “She’s probably thinking about how many diagnoses she can cram into her medical journal article, plus her best seller and a slot on Oprah’s new network.”
Jodi ogles Guy as he turns his glamorous face to the therapist. “She’s probably thinking about the ethical question of treating and shagging a fantasy figure at the same time.”
Quiet One snerks.
Dr. G. stops scribbling. “Let me get this straight, Guy. You craved the love of your mother, hated your father, and eschewed love and security for status and power. Despite your childhood experience, you accidentally abandoned your baby in pursuit of that in the fear that your lady love would find out?”
Jada interjects. “Well, it’s a little bit more complicated that…”
Jodi adds gleefully. “Yes, don’t forget about the love/hate relationship with Vasey. Oh, the Freudian implications there!”
Quiet One actually nods.
Winston and Patty rip pages out of the DSM manual. They have an impressive pile.
Dr. G. sighs. “Vasey?”
Guy looks away grimly. “The Sheriff of Nottingham. He was my liege lord since I was made a knight. I was duty bound to carry out his orders. He promised me return of my family lands, status and power that was taken from us when King Richard took the throne. His ways … were not always well received.”
Jada nods. “Guy was the black knight.”
Jodi elucidates further. “Guy was the sadistic, lying, cheating, hand chopping, murdering black knight.”
Is Quiet One holding her breath?
Guy flicks his hair and snaps defensively. “I only chopped off one hand, killed a few. My sins were middling as far as black knights go.”
Jada ponders this. “Yes, he does have a point. He was fairly average.”
Jodi scoffs. “Average? He couldn’t shoot an arrow straight, lost every fight with Robin Hood and was a lousy swordsman!”
Quiet One is … yes, that was sporfle.
I almost sporfle as well. Jodi, as usual, makes a point; Guy was not only pretty, he was a pretty bad black knight. Who knew?
Guy jumps to his feet, shaking in impressive manly umbrage. “I did the best I could, you accursed… id! I did not wish to do it at all! I could not get away from Vasey. At least Marian could see the best in me.”
Jada clears her throat uncomfortably.
Jodi harrumphs. “And look what happened there…”
Quiet One heaves a long sigh.
Winston and Patty pause in their page ripping.
I gaze anxiously at my watch. “It’s time, session is over! Let’s go!”
Everybody ignores me.
Dr. G. can’t help herself. “So what happened with Marian?”
Guy’s lovely features scrunch heartbreakingly, sapphire eyes welling with tears.
Jada begins hesitantly. “Well… there was an unfortunate knifing…”
Jodi puts it out there. “He ran her through with his sword.”
Quiet One is … very quiet.
I hold my breath.
Guy erupts in a rage, hair flying gorgeously as he shakes his head. “It was an accident! I did not mean to do it. I would never harm her!”
Dr. G. leaps to her feet cooing. “Of course, now calm yourself.”
Guy continues in his angst. “It was truly an accident! But such words that came from her mouth … she said she would rather die than marry me, that she would marry Hood! I wanted to stop those words. I had my sword like thus -” He whips out the broadsword. ” – and reached for her like thus -… GOD’S BLOOD … !”
We all gasp, including surprised Dr. G. with the sword sticking out of her.
She stares up into Guy’s face. “I – I think … I know … what your problem is.”
We all lean in close.
She gasps out. ” You – You … You’re a fuck-up.” *THUD*
To say there is a long silence is an understatement.
Jada states the obvious. “This isn’t good.”
Jodi considers the remark. ” It sure isn’t! Is “fuck-up” even in the DSM manual?”
Winston and Patty gape and shake their heads.
I’m beyond words. On the downside I have a dead therapist on my hands. On the upside, I won’t have to worry about the bill. It’s always best to think positive.
Guy stares in angst at his sword, probably wondering how it got there, too. His magnificent shoulders droop in resignation. “I am cursed! I have killed another innocent maid. This cannot stand. I must throw myself upon the mercy of your law.”
Jada is ever pragmatic. “Point that thing elsewhere, Guy. Actually, you’re not real. None of us are. So only Judi can go to prison.”
Jodi grins saucily. “Exactly! So you’ll have to resort to getting blindingly drunk and indulging in wild forgetful sex every night again.”
Guy flinches. “I remember not.”
Jodi winks. “It hasn’t been written. Yet.”
Jada finishes her assessment. “And Patty will be ripped from the bosum of her rescue forever home and thrown back into the clutches of foster care.”
Patty yelps and faints. Winston whines at her.
I’m feeling a bit faint myself. I could see it now: The new Twinkie defense! – woman says therapist killed by fantasy figure, only eyewitness is traumatized dog, news at 11.
Quiet One speaks, astounding us all. “Look, if Guy isn’t real, then neither is the sword. See, there is no wound at all. I think she’s just suffered something like a psychic shock. It’s going to be okay!”
We gawp at Quiet One for a second as the realization sinks in. Much relieved backslapping ensues.
I am exhausted. “Well, we’d better get out of here before she wakes up. Hopefully she won’t remember a thing.” Or I’ll need a new therapist.
Suddenly a male voice booms. “It looks like I have arrived just in time!”
We look around before finally looking down. There stands a small, stocky, but very attractive fit figure with long flowing gray streaked locks and full beard, regal blue robes and a fur cloak. Blue eyes regard us imperiously.
Guy eyes the interloper, sensing competition. “Who is this?”
The figure pulls himself up to full height. He barely reaches Guy’s elbow. “I am Thorin Oakenshield, King of Erebor, and King Under the Mountain.” He turns to me and inclines his head. “I am at your service, madam.”
Jada smiles. “Ohhhh, it’s the Hobbit dwarf! Are we moving on already, Judi?”
Jodi stoops, pinches Thorin’s cheek, and coos. “He is sooo cute! Wait until we get him some sexy time with that elven model.”
Thorin blushes and sputters. “We don’t do such things with elves!”
Jodi winks and strokes his beard. “Oh, but you’ll like what this elf does.”
Quiet One laughs.
Guy turns charmingly red in the face. “You are forsaking me for a … a… a HOBBIT DWARF?”
I quickly try to smooth this over. “I’m not forsaking you -”
Thorin interrupts. “She promised to write me tales in which I regain my kingdom and riches.”
All eyes turn to me.
I shrug helplessly. Oh dear. I wonder if I’ll survive the next session.
*****
It’s almost over, oh noes! In fandom, Phylly3 celebrates her second blogiversary! • In the Hobbit chain, Antonia Romera compares trailers for An Unexpected Journey in three languages • CDoart‘s the King Richard Armitage blogger, writing on the relevance of the character in times of questionable justice • In fanfic, Jo Ann finishes her story • fedoralady traces the evolution of her “sloth fic” series • In freeform, Gratiana Lovelace rescreens her Armitage birthday vid • Fabo casts Armitage in Hollywood musical remakes • C.S. Winchester takes on Armitage in period costumes from N&S and Miss Marie Lloyd • Links to all FanstRA 3 posts appear here at the end of each day.
Yup, there’s more! In freeform: Melanie on why Harry Kennedy is the perfect man • Rose Gisborne on which colors look best on Richard Armitage • Itsjsforme unveils Guy of Gisborne’s latest public service announcements (not safe for work!) • In fandom, Fabo on Richard Armitage’s statements about fans • Gratiana Lovelace requests help captioning in “I’m Too Sexy for My T-Shirt!” • The Hobbit chain goes creative with The Queen on Hobbit quilts • Mrs. E.B. Darcy on Hobbit action figures! • For King Richard Armitage, IngeD3 reviews the Michael Hicks biography of the fifteenth-century king • In fanfic, John Thornton on why he loves Margaret Hale • Jo Ann introduces us to a new Armitage character she knows we’ll love • Links to all FanstRA 3 posts appear here at the end of each day.
Sitting in my therapist’s office, I can tell right off the bat this will not go well.
Dr. G pulls out her notes and peers over her specs, very blonde and Rene Zellweger-ish. “It’s good to see you back again this week. Before we begin, I want to cover a few things in my notes. Okay?”
I clutched the sofa pillow and nod. Time to take attendance.
“Okay, now Patty is your real dog but Winston, your black dog of depression, is not, although he wants to be a real dog, preferably a pug?”
Winston pops his head out of my bag. “Rarf!”
Patty pops her head out alongside and growls at him. He retreats. I sigh and nod.
Dr. G. stares at the capacious bag. “Right.”
“And Jada, Jodi and Quiet One are your personality’s superego, id and ego?”
The trio takes up room on the sofa, telling me to budge over.
Jada nods primly. “That is correct.”
Jodi smirks. “You betcha.”
Quiet One is well… quiet.
“And none of them are actually “real”?”
I smile. She’s finally getting the hang of this.
Dr. G. blinks at us. “Interesting. So, who is he?” She jabs her pen in the direction of the chair next to her where a long lithe figure with a mullet, tight black leather and gold cravat slouches.
Winston pops out again, clearly interested. “Ruh roh.”
Oh shit. Was my psyche leaking? “That’s just a figment of my imagination. Pay no attention to him. He’s not real.”
Dr. G. eyeballs the figure from head to toe, an brow arching higher with each pass. “If he’s a figment of your imagination, why can I see him?”
I gesture around the crowded room. “Er, mass hysteria?”
The figure unfurl his long form from the chair and huskily purrs. “I assure you milady that I’m quite, quite real. I am called Sir Guy of Gisborne. He leans close to kiss her hand.
Dr. G’s mouth forms a round “O” as she stares and swallows. “Oh, you’re the muse she mentioned, for her blog.”
I cut my eyes at Guy. Damn him! What was he doing here? Did Dr. G. just bat her lashes? “Dr. G., pay no attention to him. He’s just an especially pushy fantasy. Now, I’m here to talk about Winston. He’s been an utter monster this week-“
Winston harrumphs in apparent umbrage.
Guy waves a dismissive hand at me. “Nay, I wish to speak to this… mesmerist… of yours. He turns a 1000 watt smile on her, revealing perfect white teeth. How did he have such teeth in medieval England? “Lady Judi had failed to keep her end of the bargain.”
Jada sighs.
Jodi sits forward. “This should be good.”
Quiet One is… quiet.
Dr. G.’s eyes light up as she scribbles fast, thinking of that medical journal write-up, no doubt. “A bargain, you mean like … with the devil?”
Guy flicks a lock of dark hair out of his eyes. “Nay milady, I’ve been called a devil many a time, but I’ve made no pact with him. No, Lady Judi promised that if I would be her muse, she would write me stories of gaining my heart’s desire, status and power!”
Oh. Hell.
He nails me with an accusing stare, blue eyes flashing. “Instead, she writes this … “fanfic” she calls it … tales of “porn.””
All eyes turn to me.
“She writes of me standing naked under waterfalls, pleasuring myself.” He smiles faintly to himself, apparently not too unhappy about it.
Jada sighs and tuts. “I told her not to do it.”
Jodi grins saucily and licks her lips. “I thought she did good!”
Quiet One is … – wait, was that a chuckle?
Winston and Patty look at my curiously.
I turn beet red.
A corner of Dr. G.’s mouth quirks. “Fanfic? Porn?”
I flounder lamely. “Well, he would tend to get sweaty in tight black pleather… and … and it was integral to the plot!”
They all stare.
“How about burgeoning horniess secondary to incipient menopause? I read that at WebMD.com.” I clear my throat. ” Besides Guy, I gave you some Marian sexy time!”
Guy turns away, voice quavering in anger, to show us his excellent leather clad backside. All eyes drift to his arse. ” I asked for status and power! That’s all I ever wanted. That’s all I asked!”
Dr. G. leans forward. “You say you’ve always wanted status and power. Did you have a difficult childhood?”
Guy slumps into his chair, sighs and bows his head. “Aye, very difficult.”
Jada leans foward in motherly concern. “Guy, you should talk about this.”
Jodi hoots in definite un-motherly concern. ” Yeah, tell us all about it, baby.”
Quiet One is definitely chuckling.
Winston and Patty look at each other. “Ruh roh.”
Sigh. It’s going to be a long 50 minutes.
*****
Yup, there’s more! In freeform: Melanie on why Harry Kennedy is the perfect man • Rose Gisborne on which colors look best on Richard Armitage • Itsjsforme unveils Guy of Gisborne’s latest public service announcements (not safe for work!) • In fandom, Fabo on Richard Armitage’s statements about fans • Gratiana Lovelace requests help captioning in “I’m Too Sexy for My T-Shirt!” • The Hobbit chain goes creative with The Queen on Hobbit quilts • Mrs. E.B. Darcy on Hobbit action figures! • For King Richard Armitage, IngeD3 reviews the Michael Hicks biography of the fifteenth-century king • In fanfic, John Thornton on why he loves Margaret Hale • Jo Ann introduces us to a new Armitage character she knows we’ll love • Links to all FanstRA 3 posts appear here at the end of each day.
Sorry Dear Reader for my absence. I’ve been waylaid by Real Life issues as usual. So I’m back to the RA Bag of Goodies. What do we have here? Ah, Guy, what a surprise. Enjoy.
Guy has a few words with Robin before the rivalry begins. Courtesy RichardArmitageNet.com
Is there such a thing as too much Guy? Can he be too much of a good thing? I don’t think so. How in the world were we to pay attention to the hero with a nemesis like this? This is my favorite promo shot ever.
Guy works that smolder. Courtesy RichardArmitageNet.com
I was going to do a post about the feminine aspects of RA’s features but got sidetracked. Here is a prime example. But underneath the mascara, eyeliner, eyeshadow and long hair, he’s still quite masculine.
Guy radiating his Guyness. Courtesy RichardArmitageNet.com
Saying I don’t have my act together this week is an understatement. So time to dip into that distracting RA Bag of Goodies (it’s bottomless, you know). Since Frenzy and BccMee have been spreading the Guy love, how about a little seen pic. Poor Guy, nothing ever goes right.
Richard Armitage as Guy of Gisborne, courtesy RichardArmitageNet.com
Welcome back to Foolish Friday for our weekly old fashioned objectification. Since Guy has been getting a lot of attention lately, I’ve dug into the RA Bag of Goodies for one of my favorite screen caps from Robin Hood. Let us admire the plains and curves. This physique was many years in the making. Even though RA no longer dances, he still possesses a dancer’s body. And we see Marian getting an eyeful, like the rest of us.
Appreciating physiques since 1193. Courtesy RichardArmitageNet.com
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