NaNoWriMo Procrastination, or Where’s MY Thorin Merchandise?

Events have conspired to stall NaNoWriMo for me.  I wrote three paragraphs late Thursday and not a word since.  My muse is being tetchy.   I’m trying to coax him back with sweet nothings, but he’s playing hard to get.  I didn’t know the clocks turned back, so that threw me too.  Yes, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Meanwhile, I see the ArmitageWorld topic is The Hobbit merchandising discussed by Servetus, Agzy, and Jazzy.   Nobody should be surprised when I say I don’t particularly care, except to shake my head at the rampart commercialism.  On the upside, RA may be getting a percentage of the movie profits and merchandising, so he might be a step richer when you buy those panties with his face on the crotch.  I like to think some money is going into his pocket as well.

Plus, I am mostly immune to merchandising because these items scream DUST ME.  All those tchotchkes require cleaning.  I am domestically impaired.  This is not a good combination.  Looking at my Thorin figurine covered in cobwebs because I want to be good and not fondle it to death would make me unhappy.  And sneezy.  For the sake of full disclosure, I’m a sucker for cute stuffed toys and dolls (NOOO, do NOT want!).  I have exactly three figures: my old Skipper doll from 1969, a 12 inch David Tenant 10th Doctor doll and a 12 inch Martha doll.  I got them so I could rip their clothes off and enact questionable tableaus (without Skipper, of course), because they were the closest things resembling the two actors.

Also, my Hobbit apathy continues unabated because after googling all the merchandise, I see they still have not made what *I* want for Christmas.  How could the merchandisers have overlooked it?  I did an informal poll doing the summer and realized the fangirls would go WILD for this.  What on earth do I want?

I want at least a 12 inch Thorin barbie doll with eyes exactly like RA’s. I could wash, brush and braid its hair rip its clothes off and enact questionable tableaus with The Doctor and Martha.  Me and my strange inner child would have a blast.  Matel, where are you?

Oh, look here!  Another googling brought up this image: a redone barbie Thorin on Tumblr!  Matel could perfect this to RA’s face exactly.  Tweak the eyes, fix the lips and jawline and you have a sale. I’ll buy two; one to keep in the packaging, the other to kiss and fondle to death admire.  Anatomical correctness is optional. Really.

A Ken barbie doll redone as Thorin sold on ebay. Anatomical correctness doubtful.




5 thoughts on “NaNoWriMo Procrastination, or Where’s MY Thorin Merchandise?

  1. Can I ask you something Judi but please don’t kill me… Is the Dr. Who doll anatomically correct? 🙂 What about its hair, is it anything like the Real Deal? DT’s got such a cute mussed up hairstyle. One would think it’s not easy to recreate. 🙂 Btw, that Ken-Thorin looks more like Aidan Turner than RA.

    • No, sadly none of those things. For his last episode, they put out a doll that looked EXACTLY like him (down to the tearful eyes), but it looked cut, bloody and battered (just like in the episode) which I thought a bit too depressing to buy.

      Yeah, the face isn’t our boy but the hair is pretty good.

      • What a shame.. I did a bit of “research”, or should I say, I googled “DT’s hair” 🙂 and discovered that it has a tumblr account dedicated to it! Cool or what? I have to confess I have never ever seen one episode of Dr. Who so I better start to educate myself! 🙂

  2. Giggles Judiang!
    Even if a 12 inch character doll/figure were “anatomically correct”, would one need a magnifying glass at 10 power? Ha!
    Cheers! Grati ;->
    P.S. I am not casting aspersions on anyone’s manhood–just their dollhood. Ha!

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