Half over, already! In King Richard Armitage, Servetus admits to (gasp!) stray thoughts while lecturing • In fanfic, Margaret Hale guestposts at John Thornton‘s on why she loves him • Jo Ann continues her story • In freeform, Jas Rangoon jokes about potential reproductive partners for Mr. Armitage • Itsjsforme reveals another Guy of Gisborne PSA (still not safe for work!) • Gratiana Lovelace needs more help captioning “Whimsical Moments with Deadly Serious ChaRActers!” •  In fandom, IngeD3 focuses on Ricky Deeming • Fabo confesses her Richard Armitage eyelash fetish! • In the Hobbit, it’s calories galore as Antonia Romera discusses fingerlicking at the Hobbit table • The Queen takes on Hobbit cakes • Links to all FanstRA 3 posts appear here at the end of each day.

Don’t forget the core bloggers! And don’t forget the core blogggers!  Mulubinba- An RA Viewer’s Perspective, Frenz- RA Frenzy, Fanny-Distracted Musings of One ReAlity, Bccmee- Bccmee’s Fanvids & Graphics, CDoart- RA History & Spooks, Traxy- The Squee, Servetus- Me + Richard Armitage, Jonia- Jonia’s Cut 

*****

We last left off here with our intrepid heroine not getting her money’s worth in therapy.  But her fantasy figure certainly is.

A Big City

7:35 PM

I look at my watch and shake it. Could Guy have only been talking 30 minutes?  It felt like hours. He was voice lovely and I wouldn’t have minded him reading the phone book, but still.   I check with my ever present trio.

Jada pulls out my trust iPhone.  “He’s only been talking 27 minutes and 20 seconds.”

Jodi waves impatiently.  “Shhhh.  He’s talking about his wooden ducky. Something Oedipal is bound to come up.”

Quiet One is … quiet.

Patty yawns.  Winston pops out of the bag with a chew toy to share.  Patty is game.

I sit back and fume.

Guy sits partially stretched out in his chair, head resting on the back, eyes gazing at the ceiling.  I do a double-take.  Was his hair longer?  And where did the cravat go?  My psyche must be leaking like a sieve.

 “… so you see,  after my grandpere carved it for me,  I went every where with my wooden duck. It was really quite intricate and delicate.  I took it with me when tending the chickens. I slept with it at my side. I could not be without it. My mother was much amused.”

Dr. G. nodded.  “It was a security blanket for you.  You felt safe with it.”

Guy turns a perfect profile to us, his voice racked with pain.  “But my father was not amused.  He said my actions were unbecoming a man child.  He snatched it from me and smashed it with a mallet.  He refused to let my mother comfort me, saying she was making me soft.  As time went on, my mother became more distant.  After my sister Isabella was born, she had no time for me.”

Jada shakes her head sadly.  “Aww, poor lost lamb.”

Jodi nods sagely.  “It’s the little things that count.  I told you I should’ve had a rubber ducky growing up. Bath time was sooo boring.”

Quiet One is … quiet.

Winston and Patty shiver at the mention of bath time.

I sputter.  “But I never wanted a rubber ducky!  Who’s personality is this anyway?”

Dr. G. presses on.  “So that was the last time you felt truly loved and secure?”

Guy clenches his long fingers into fists.  “It was my father! He took my sainted mother away from me and then abandoned us all for the Crusades.  He returned a leper. I hated him!”

Dr. G.  taps her pen against her lips.  “So, that was when you decided to forgo love and security for status and power. Oh, that’s quite Oedipal.”

Jodi hoots, nudging me.  “Told you!”

Jada frowns.  “Shhhh!”

Quiet One is ….  no, there’s a grunt.

Guy’s long lashes flutter as he is interrupted in his angst.  “What is this “Oedipal”?”

“Dr. G. clarifies.  “It’s a psychological process in development in which males want to do away with the father and protect the mother.”

Jada raises a finger delicately.  “It’s a childhood thing…”

Jodi adds helpfully. “It is when you want to kill your father and shag your mother, honey.

Quiet One is… absolutely quiet.

Oh.  Shit.

Guy leaps out of his chair, enraged, hair falling perfectly around his face.  “God’s blood! Lie with my mother?  What manner of accursed talk is this!”

Jodi is undaunted. “You notice he didn’t deny wanting to kill his father. You would think he’d treat his own babe better than to leave it to die in the woods like that.”

Jada nods.  “Very true.”

Quiet One grunts.

Winston and Patty softly growl.

I groan, wondering if Dr. G. is now charging by the day, instead of the hour.

Dr. G.’s pen stops tapping.  She gapes in shock, probably wondering how she can call the medieval police.  “You left your child to die in the woods?”

Guy, caught out, bites a fist in anguish. “I never intended to leave Seth there.  And no, he did not perish.  The outlaws took him.”  He holds out his long arms beseechingly.  “I was only taking the child to the abbey to keep the tale from Lady Marian!”

Jada looks pained.  “Oh, and about Marian…”

Jodi, ever helpful, fills Dr. G. in. “That’s the same Marian that Guy banged in Judi’s porn.”

I murmur flatly.  “Thanks for reminding us, Jodi.”

Winston and Patty look at each other.

Dr. G. leans forward, sensing she is on to something.  “I see.  So this Marian was quite special to you?”

Guy pauses with a gleam in his eye, remembering the sexy time, then shakes his head as if clearing it.  He collapses into his chair, clutching his head in angst.  “No, no, that wasn’t real. I cannot talk about this.  Let us not go on!”

Jada shakes her head.  “Guy, it’s for the best, dear.  You have to get it all out.”

Jodi offers her assistance.  “They say things feel worse before they feel better.  Well, maybe in your case, worse still.”

Quiet One gazes at the door.

Winston and Patty groan.

I sit back and heave another sigh.  Should have brought my sleeping bag.

*****

Half over, already! In King Richard Armitage, Servetus admits to (gasp!) stray thoughts while lecturing • In fanfic, Margaret Hale guestposts at John Thornton‘s on why she loves him • Jo Ann continues her story • In freeform, Jas Rangoon jokes about potential reproductive partners for Mr. Armitage • Itsjsforme reveals another Guy of Gisborne PSA (still not safe for work!) • Gratiana Lovelace needs more help captioning “Whimsical Moments with Deadly Serious ChaRActers!” •  In fandom, IngeD3 focuses on Ricky Deeming • Fabo confesses her Richard Armitage eyelash fetish! • In the Hobbit, it’s calories galore as Antonia Romera discusses fingerlicking at the Hobbit table • The Queen takes on Hobbit cakes • Links to all FanstRA 3 posts appear here at the end of each day.

Don’t forget the core bloggers! And don’t forget the core blogggers!  Mulubinba- An RA Viewer’s Perspective, Frenz- RA Frenzy, Fanny-Distracted Musings of One ReAlity, Bccmee- Bccmee’s Fanvids & Graphics, CDoart- RA History & Spooks, Traxy- The Squee, Servetus- Me + Richard Armitage, Jonia- Jonia’s Cut