I’m enjoying one those rare evenings when nothing urgently presses at the moment. The Christmas tree is up and decorated, but needs some TLC from the local hardware store. One holiday party is over. I need to shake people down for their gift lists but that’s another day. And there’s nothing to report from The Great Hobbit Tour blitz, thank goodness. Now that I can hear myself think, a few thoughts have jumped out at me.
It’s been great without Winston, my black dog of depression. He’s been MIA since May and counting. Last year at this, I could barely get through the holidays. Grudgingly, I threw up the tree, decorated slap-dash, and dragged myself to two parties I found a mental ordeal. This year, the tree got the full treatment as I sang carols before rushing off to a holiday party. My weekends are quickly filling up this month. Old friends are reconnecting.
As soon as Winston fled, I met with external Real Life problems that I can’t do anything about right now, but they kept me on edge and wobbly. The only thing I can do, instead of waiting for the problems to resolve, is to put them in a box, push them to the back of my mind and get on with it. So, I’ve reemerged once again, flying to NYC for the day, blogging the Hobbit tour, chattering on Twitter (sorry Facebook), and reconnecting with people in real life and online. Yeah, I’m tubthumping – I get knocked down, but I get up again. I’m still gathering my mental resources. It’s slow going, but considering how far I’ve come, I can’t complain. Baby steps, baby steps.
It feels good to feel good.
As an older fan, I still have some reflections on the NYC trip. I also haven’t forgotten about RA’s report card; I’ve decided to expand the critique to include the entire tour. Then I will answer this question: Has RA overtaken my crush on David Tennant? Wouldn’t you like to know? Hmmm?
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Give RA that warm and fuzzy feeling. Congratulate him and show your appreciation by gift bombing his Justgiving page! Show him and the world you care.
You know you want to.
I read your post yesterday and wanted to comment – but, in truth, felt somewhat tongue tied. I tried once but my words seemed inadequate so i hit delete. Your words touched me so much – i saw vulnerability, courage, determination, contemplation and, above all, optimism and hope. This is a busy time of year and this December has been even busier thanks to all that is happening in Armitage world. It is easy to become completely overwhelmed or to be so rushed we don’t stop to appreciate the here and now. It’s also a time of year when we can make comparisons – we remember loved ones no longer with us or times before disaster struck. It was beautiful to read how far you have come in a year – and that even though you still have a long path to travel, you can see the way through. I don’t think we congratulate ourselves enough for just keeping on going so i think you have set a great example. Thank you for sharing your thoughts – it meant a lot.
Judi – I cannot even begin to tell you how incredibly HAPPY it makes me to read this post!!! Yippee-kai-yay!! Your wry perspective and kind irony towards this actor and his fans (as presented in your various ‘series’ posts) has always been a gift for me to read… mostly, of course, because it just make me LAUGH OUT LOUD and reminds me how FUN and loving and supportive this experience can be WHEN IT IS SHARED WITH OTHERS.
It DOES feel good to FEEL GOOD. 🙂