Surreal Saturday – Chess!

Still having a heard time finding the surreal on YouTube.  I suspect I don’t know the right channels…  Anyway,  I went back to DeStorm, my go-to man for videos.  But what should I find but a rap that explains chess.  Enjoy.

HOW TO PLAY CHESS! (rap)

figured I’d tell ya a story while teaching how to play chess. ENJOY! My vines: http://t.co/LOHY4Q0S2d My Facebook: http://apps.facebook.com/destorm/ My Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/destorm

 

Interlude XVII – Ricky

I’m not a fan of Ricky Deeming but I know some of you are.  But I spotted this seaside screencap, and I kind of like it, in a matinee idol sort of way.  Had he been dressed in a white billowing shirt and britches with a saber in his hand, I would have been totally for him.  Can’t you see him as Captain Blood?

Ricky Deeming rouses his rebels. Courtesy of RichardArmitageNet.com

 

Surreal Saturday – Project Preschool

While trolling YouTube still for something truly surreal, I came across a channel by Aren’t We Friends that does funny sendups.  Here is one take on Project Runway with Tim Gunn – Project Preschool.

Tim Gunn: Project Preschool

What if Tim Gunn from Project Runway brought his “unique critique” to a group of preschoolers? I know, you’ve been asking yourself that same question for years. Liam Sullivan as Tim Gunn thanks to all the wonderful kids! Great job!

 

Composing Erotica or How to Write Porn

I knew that would get your attention.

For the last few months, the regulars in the ArmitageWorld chat room (it’s the place to be 9PM – 1AM EST) have been asking, “Judi, when are you writing some porn? More porn! More porn!” (they are a classy bunch).  Each time I say I don’t know when I’ll write more *erotica.*   I encourage them to write their own, but they plead ignorance.

Let me start right off by saying I don’t have a clue how to write erotica either.  No, seriously.  Before posting my story over Christmas, it had been a long time since I wrote fiction, and never since writing erotica.  Since my readership is so demanding (I’m looking at you, chat room gals), I knew getting away with an erotica-free Guy story wasn’t going to happen.  No cutaway to exploding fireworks would work for them.  So I researched it.

After quickly realizing Google would take me places I really didn’t want to go, I headed to Amazon.com which turned out to be a vast depository of erotica and how-to books. I spotted one called literally How to Write Erotica and the other, The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Writing Erotic Romance.  The latter one had me at “Idiot’s Guide.”  I purchased them both and waited.   Since one was an ebook, I didn’t have to wait long.   By page 182 of the 266 page book, I was yawning and still hadn’t gotten to the “good part” – how to write the mechanics of explicit sex- which my readership explicitly requested.  When the other honest-to-goodness-paper book arrived, I noted its thinness and made short work of it.  An hour later, I came to a realization – I’d learned nothing.  So, how do I write good erotica?

Needless to say, this was no help to me at all.   But because I was running against a self-imposed deadline, I simply dove in and started throwing sentences and paragraphs together to see what sounded good.  Then I realized the books were absolutely right in what they had been trying to tell me all along.  They could give pointers, but nobody can really teach how to write erotica.   As one book suggested, you simply have to get over your inhibitions and write it.

Obviously I’m no expert in erotica with only one story under my belt, but this is what I found: what eventually occurs in the story reflects how comfortable you are with the scenes and how far you want to go with them.  If you’ve never read erotica, you need to find some and read lots of it to learn different styles of prose.  Do you want to the sex to be implied or explicit?  Do want a sensuous (of the senses) tone or a more sexual (carnal) vibe or something in between?  What words do you feel comfortable using in describing the human body?  How does the scene work to move the story along?

Basically imagine what you would like to read and write it.  If you like it down and dirty and it fits in with the story line, then that’s the way to go.  If using clinical anatomical words would throw you right out of a scene, then don’t use them.  If more romance with only implied sex is your style, then that is what you should write.  If you’re uncomfortable with an action, then don’t go there because your reader will sense it immediately.

If there is one secret I’ve culled from reading, it’s this – if it doesn’t turn you on, it probably won’t turn on the reader either.

 

 

Why RA?:Part 7 – Why Blogs vs. Boards?

[This post is not intended to be a comparison between which medium is superior, blogs or message boards. I’m not presenting laundry lists for or against either.   Until two weeks ago, I had not a clue there existed any bone of contention.   Instead I want to reiterate my opinion stated in the “Who Is A ‘Real’ Fan” post: that there are different types of fans who would prefer different media.]

A thread developed under that post regarding the merits of blogs versus message boards.  Because some people described having different preferences, one commentator said there was a “divide” between the two venues.  I don’t see why that should be the case.

As I stated in the post, there is no such thing as a ‘real’ fan.  Fans come with different opinions, experiences and outlooks.  The only that matters is their personal enjoyment in their object.  With such differences, it’s not unreasonable to expect that a fan might prefer one medium over another.  This does not mean that blogs are intrinsically better than boards or that boards are the way to go.  Saying there is a ‘divide” to me implies to me a certain disharmony between the two media, if a fan prefers one over the other.  Why can’t they exist side by side solely based on preference?

I’ve belonged to several message boards through my years in fandom.  They were a great source of information for crushes and before the internet explosion were, at times, the only medium available.  Then along came other media like blogs, tumblers, Twitter and Facebook and I had more choices.  Based on my personal experiences and idiosyncrasies, I decided that blogs fit me better, not because boards were bad, but because I felt more comfortable with the former.  I’m still a member of several forums although I rarely post.  I could list the reasons why I decided this, but that is irrelevant.  There is nothing wrong with switching from one medium to another (or back).  Finding something is a better fit does not imply there is something inherently wrong with the other choices.  It’s just my preference.  Tomorrow I could decide blogs don’t work for me and move on to something else.

What disturbs me is that RA fandom is small enough and doesn’t need to deal with perceptions that different media are either/or,  or superior/inferior, or in competition with each other.  A fan should be able to say “I don’t like medium#1 because of A, B and C, but like  medium #2 because of X,Y, and Z.”   It’s just a personal preference.  It doesn’t take away anything from medium #1 or prevent other people from seeking it out and making up their own minds.  RA fandom doesn’t need tribalism.  After all, the blogs, boards, tumblrs, etc, were all created for one purpose: to appreciate RA.  I think he would be sad if he knew there was any type of  “divide.”

Art of Remembering 2

[This entry is a creative experiment in writing about memories, as an extension of last week’s post.]

I’m holding a squeaky giraffe.  It’s small to my mother and brother watching, but big to me.  Two round ears and a little round pink nose sticks out of a round smiling face.  The face sits atop a long slender tan neck.  That’s most of the toy, the neck.  My little fingers first grasp the long part then slid down to its flat end where the squeak comes out.  I squeeze.  *SQUEAK SQUEAK*

I’m sure I have other noisy toys but this one is my favorite.  It makes the right sort of squeak so that Mom doesn’t get annoyed and make me stop.  Right now, Mom and Cappy encourage me to pose for the camera.  He stands over me, dressed in his ROTC uniform with the shiny buttons and yellow braid.  He’s holding a big camera; the round part points at me.  I’m distracted, still squeaking Giraffe. *SQUEAK SQUEAK*

It’s daytime but dark enough in the living room for Mom to turn on a lamp.  It still seems dark, though.  She reclines at the end of the long, green, curved sofa, and waves the camera away when it points at her.  She doesn’t want Cappy to take her picture.  I bounce around a bit and find myself off the carpet and in a corner by the television; it’s taller than me and its edge sticks out above me.  My little red shoes make noise on the wooden floor.  *tap tap* *SQUEAK SQUEAK*

“Look up Judi, look at the camera,” Cappy says.  I adore my big brother and smile up at him.  I try to focus on the round part but it’s fuzzy.  Mom smiles which makes me smile harder.  She’s happy.  They all are happy suddenly, looking at me, murmuring encouragement to me.  My arm swings Giraffe and some how its flat end now rests on top of my head.  I’m delighted it still makes noise if I use my head. *bop bop*  *SQUEAK SQUEAK*

***

The camera whirls and clicks.  Mom and Cappy talk.  I can’t hear everything, but I understand that the camera is new and he’s playing with it.  We are going outside to play some more.  I’m dressed in a light blue coat over my pants and top and taken into the backyard.  Cappy tells me to stand over there. I run deeper into the yard.  He’s saying other things I can’t hear now.  He’s very fuzzy but I know he has the camera.  I try to pose but the sun is in my eyes and I’m not sure what to do. I don’t have Giraffe.  Cappy says a few more things and then it’s over.  He turns away; he’s done.  I stand there, not knowing what to do next.

I am four.

 

 

Serene Sunday – The Lord’s Prayer

The Lord’s Prayer is a central prayer of Christianity, based on Matthew 6:9-13 and Luke 11:2-4.  Albert Hay Malotte set it to music in 1935.  Many artists have recorded it but this rendition performed in 1967 is my favorite by far.  From the first note,  Barbra Streisand’s voice somehow captures me and keeps me riveted until the last note.  Her voice in its heyday was so melodious and beautiful, I find it hard to describe.  The simple words of the prayer combined with her voice and the orchestral backup is unbeatable.

BARBRA STREISAND the lord’s prayer

from the 1967 BARBRA STREISAND – A CHRISTMAS ALBUM – created at http://animoto.com

 

Surreal Saturday – A New Kind of Harry Potter

I’m sure most you have seen all the Harry Potter Movies 1- 13, I mean seven.  Right?  Didn’t you ever wish the Scooby gang would just go badass?  Well then, this is the trailer for you.

New Harry Potter Trailer : Rated Awesome #5

Harry Potter and his friends have a problem. Voldemort is just too powerful. So they turn to a new ally to defeat the forces of evil. Check out the newest parody trailer from Rated Awesome, it’s called “Harry Potter and the Deadly Hollow Points”. More hilarious movie parodies will be released about every 2 weeks.